31 Days · Faith · Motherhood

The Danger of Should in the Wilderness

1443866_74159195I just got finished reading a blog about engaging in our lives versus living in survival mode. Living in the wilderness of mommy hood has seasons of survival mode. It’s important for us to just feed, bathe and be with our kids when they are first born. It leads to bonding and knowledge of what’s really important.

Laundry does wait. Babies don’t stop growing. They change every day. And if we get caught up in getting the laundry done over cuddles, we’re missing our purpose.

I had a moment of the “shoulds” today that made me stop, collaborate and listen to the voice that said, “What are you thinking?”

Any mom understands that nap time is a golden opportunity to do everything. Take a shower. Eat a meal with both hands. Read a book. Sew a pillow. Clean the kitchen. Write a blog post. Make a phone call. It’s a time we can be ourselves (you know, the you before Mommy.)

Now that the baby is sleeping a little more, I’m craving “my stuff” time. I’m wanting to pack as much as I can into nap time as possible. But there’s this other kid hanging around here getting homeschooled. She may not need me to hold her as much, but she still needs me.

So on to the moment of “shoulds” that got in the way of my greater purpose today. She wanted to make a craft for her grandmother’s birthday. I wanted to finish the one little thing I was doing. She wasn’t showing patience. And I wasn’t modeling it.

I was modeling frustration. So, she got frustrated. We both got frustrated. I let the should get in front of her need for my attention.

So that one little thing took longer than necessary. Shoulds are just guidelines. The wilderness only requires absolutes for survival.

And communication is one of those absolutes. After the should got back burnered, I sat down with my big girl and apologized for not being respectful of her request. I discussed patience from my part and from her.

It’s absolutely necessary for each of us to give our part, but the littles don’t learn it without guidance. As much as it gets in the way of our “shoulds,” teaching our children the way they should go is way more important.

My should didn’t mean a hill of beans compared with the should she needed to learn today. That wilderness we call life isn’t going to care if she folds her cloths, but it is going to care if she treats others with patience and kindness.

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