Faith · Gifts · Motherhood · Real Christianity · Woman of Promise

Why I’m Never Going to Be Enough

Jesus-is-enough_webI’m so excited to be a part of Brooke McGlothlin’s Gospel Centered Mom blog tour! I read her Praying for Boys a couple years ago when being a boy mom was the most foreign thing in the world for me. And I loved it.

I realized how important prayer is to the mission of motherhood. I realized how much prayer changes my perspective on these souls He trusted ME to shepherd. What an honor. What a privilege.

And today I’m sharing a little bit of why I need to be a gospel-centered mom. I’m never going to be enough for them. There’s never going to be enough of me to go around. I can’t erase their heartbreaks. I can’t keep them from acting out. I can’t save their souls.

And you know what? That’s ok. I’m not supposed to be enough. I’ve been chasing that title my whole life – “enough.”

But when I look at my life, I’m not supposed to be “enough.” I’m supposed to be seeking His power, His will, His way. And I can’t ever do that “enough.”

Brooke writes in Chapter 1 of Gospel-Centered Mom:

“God is no doubt perfect, and He is more than enough to make up for our lack. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3), but that “divine power” still comes from Him, not from somewhere inside us that is independent of Him. We clearly need God—not just once for salvation, but constantly and continually and in more ways than we can count. Whatever enough He gives us access to still comes from Him; He is its source. If we were enough on our own, we wouldn’t need Jesus, and, friend, we all desperately need Jesus.”

When I first became a believer, I was convinced I was doing it wrong. I was supposed to have this amazing conversion and life was supposed to be simpler, better and forever changed.

I was supposed to take it all to the cross and leave it there – anger, struggle, unforgiveness, not liking myself and every other sin I’d ever committed. And I did that, but then the bubble popped.

The night I gave it all up, I felt lighter than I’d ever felt in my life. I had hope and light. But soon sin entered my life again. I felt guilty. I felt ashamed. I felt like I wasn’t really forgiven. I’d go back to that cross and wonder, “Did I really come to Jesus?”

I’d question alter calls pretty harshly. Why are they always asking us to come forward? Why am I not secure that I’m saved? Then I recognized that I was making this about me and not about Him.

The truth is – I invited Christ into my life. I just didn’t fully understand that this was a more than a one-time act. I wasn’t just making a declaration. I was letting light into my darkness. And you know what? Letting the light in is beautiful. But it’s also a lot like letting the light into a room with black out shades. It can overwhelm you. It can hurt. Letting go of me was (is) the most painful experience of my life.

But letting go of me brings a freedom that you don’t ever fully comprehend. You don’t have to keep trying to be “enough” or “better.” You are His. You live in His strength. His light. His shadow.

At that moment in time, you are forever changed. You are forever forgiven. God promises that to you when you go to that cross. But the part a lot of us miss is that we have to own that identity. We have to own our forgiveness.

We have to believe the Gospel over and over and over again. We have to dwell on it. We have to seek it. We have to depend on it.

We have to take the sin to the cross over and over and over again. And when we trace the thread of grace, we see our Savior strengthening us, growing us and changing us. But we’re not supposed to do it alone.

what-we-believe_webAs David writes in Psalm 116:1-2, “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

David’s saying this is a forever call. Not a one-time answer to an invitation.

The process of sanctification is not to be taken lightly. It’s hard. It’s humbling. It takes saying, “Not my will, but yours.”

And our children need to see that in us. Our children need to see us devoting our lives to that truth – “Not my will, but yours.” Every.single.day.

Our children need to see us repenting, resetting, rejoicing in the mercy of the Savior who gave it all up for us. Every.single.day.

Brooke writes, “Your children are the story God has given you to live so others can see Him in you. How will you live it?”

When I think of the day I go before that judgment seat to answer for what I did with the grace I was given, I don’t want to be unprepared.

I want to walk in knowing that I gave as much grace as I received. I want to say that my story was His story for my life. I want my children to see that I lived in His grace because I’m never going to be enough. But He is.

When we embrace that identity – a Gospel-centered mom identity, we can find greater freedom, purpose, and joy in motherhood. Get Brooke McGlothlin’s new book at www.gospelcenteredmombook.com.

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