Faith · Gifts · Motherhood · Real Christianity · Woman of Promise

Why I’m Never Going to Be Enough

Jesus-is-enough_webI’m so excited to be a part of Brooke McGlothlin’s Gospel Centered Mom blog tour! I read her Praying for Boys a couple years ago when being a boy mom was the most foreign thing in the world for me. And I loved it.

I realized how important prayer is to the mission of motherhood. I realized how much prayer changes my perspective on these souls He trusted ME to shepherd. What an honor. What a privilege.

And today I’m sharing a little bit of why I need to be a gospel-centered mom. I’m never going to be enough for them. There’s never going to be enough of me to go around. I can’t erase their heartbreaks. I can’t keep them from acting out. I can’t save their souls.

And you know what? That’s ok. I’m not supposed to be enough. I’ve been chasing that title my whole life – “enough.”

But when I look at my life, I’m not supposed to be “enough.” I’m supposed to be seeking His power, His will, His way. And I can’t ever do that “enough.”

Brooke writes in Chapter 1 of Gospel-Centered Mom:

“God is no doubt perfect, and He is more than enough to make up for our lack. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3), but that “divine power” still comes from Him, not from somewhere inside us that is independent of Him. We clearly need God—not just once for salvation, but constantly and continually and in more ways than we can count. Whatever enough He gives us access to still comes from Him; He is its source. If we were enough on our own, we wouldn’t need Jesus, and, friend, we all desperately need Jesus.”

When I first became a believer, I was convinced I was doing it wrong. I was supposed to have this amazing conversion and life was supposed to be simpler, better and forever changed.

I was supposed to take it all to the cross and leave it there – anger, struggle, unforgiveness, not liking myself and every other sin I’d ever committed. And I did that, but then the bubble popped.

The night I gave it all up, I felt lighter than I’d ever felt in my life. I had hope and light. But soon sin entered my life again. I felt guilty. I felt ashamed. I felt like I wasn’t really forgiven. I’d go back to that cross and wonder, “Did I really come to Jesus?”

I’d question alter calls pretty harshly. Why are they always asking us to come forward? Why am I not secure that I’m saved? Then I recognized that I was making this about me and not about Him.

The truth is – I invited Christ into my life. I just didn’t fully understand that this was a more than a one-time act. I wasn’t just making a declaration. I was letting light into my darkness. And you know what? Letting the light in is beautiful. But it’s also a lot like letting the light into a room with black out shades. It can overwhelm you. It can hurt. Letting go of me was (is) the most painful experience of my life.

But letting go of me brings a freedom that you don’t ever fully comprehend. You don’t have to keep trying to be “enough” or “better.” You are His. You live in His strength. His light. His shadow.

At that moment in time, you are forever changed. You are forever forgiven. God promises that to you when you go to that cross. But the part a lot of us miss is that we have to own that identity. We have to own our forgiveness.

We have to believe the Gospel over and over and over again. We have to dwell on it. We have to seek it. We have to depend on it.

We have to take the sin to the cross over and over and over again. And when we trace the thread of grace, we see our Savior strengthening us, growing us and changing us. But we’re not supposed to do it alone.

what-we-believe_webAs David writes in Psalm 116:1-2, “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

David’s saying this is a forever call. Not a one-time answer to an invitation.

The process of sanctification is not to be taken lightly. It’s hard. It’s humbling. It takes saying, “Not my will, but yours.”

And our children need to see that in us. Our children need to see us devoting our lives to that truth – “Not my will, but yours.” Every.single.day.

Our children need to see us repenting, resetting, rejoicing in the mercy of the Savior who gave it all up for us. Every.single.day.

Brooke writes, “Your children are the story God has given you to live so others can see Him in you. How will you live it?”

When I think of the day I go before that judgment seat to answer for what I did with the grace I was given, I don’t want to be unprepared.

I want to walk in knowing that I gave as much grace as I received. I want to say that my story was His story for my life. I want my children to see that I lived in His grace because I’m never going to be enough. But He is.

When we embrace that identity – a Gospel-centered mom identity, we can find greater freedom, purpose, and joy in motherhood. Get Brooke McGlothlin’s new book at www.gospelcenteredmombook.com.

Family · Gifts · Motherhood · Real Christianity · Uncategorized

A Mother of Promise

gift from lordA couple of years ago, I felt the compression of too much mommying on my shoulders and realized that I didn’t have much of a plan for my days. I realized I was surviving and not thriving. I realized that we can go through hard seasons, but we don’t have to get stuck in the muck of “gotta get through this day.”

To borrow a verse from one of my favorite songs by Tonic – “I wanted more. More than I was giving. More than was handling. More than I was bearing. More than I was offering.” This chorus closes with “For a love that isn’t there.”

A Mother of Promise Cleans the Lens

The love was there, but it was just covered up by a lot of scattered needs, toys, frustrations, emotions, unmet expectations and heart clutter.

I didn’t have a good grasp on how to be the best of me for my kids or my husband. So, I did something that helps me think and helps me focus.

I made a list of the needs of each person in my immediate family. I spent some time in prayer over how I could deliver the best of me to my promises. It was such a simple exercise, but it was powerful. When you understand what’s expected of you, you can more forward in focus and grow.

I had a lot of ideas of how I wanted to do things, but not a lot of focus on those core needs..png

Sally Clarkson calls the way we approach our people our “grid” or “filter.” I discovered through this exercise that my grid was a little dirty. I had a lot of ideas of how I wanted to do things, but not a lot of focus on those core needs.

For instance, my son needs A LOT of connection with me to feel secure. I love holding my children. I love to read to them and talk to them, but this one stretches me beyond my limits of connection.

I get a bit “touched out” with the constant need to be held. So, I’ve approached this two ways – by getting frustrated with him and making him more insecure and through being proactive and intentional and gentle with limits.

Which approach do you think works best? Proactive and intentional always win him over. I’m just not always that patient. So, I have to go back to the promise he is in my life.

Prayers and Promises Help Us Skirt the Pit

I really do have to go back and look at baby pictures and remember that my son’s presence in my life is a part of the blessing of healing.

God doesn’t want to just give us our blessings; he wants us to use our blessings for good.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I can influence a young man to stand firm on the promise of his eternal life or I can get frustrated with his constant whining and yell at him and open the entrance to the pit of insecurity, anxiety, overwhelm. Man Cub is a lot like me. These snares can get him by the throat. And they can spend a day for us. A day that’s anything but promising.

Or I can show him the way out of the pit for good. I can be a woman who stands on the promise Elihu gave to Job when he approached him about the problem of “pit living.”

“Yet if there is an angel at their side, a messenger, one out of a thousand, sent to tell them how to be upright, and he is gracious to that person and says to God, ‘Spare them from going down to the pit; I have found a ransom for them—let their flesh be renewed like a child’s; let them be restored as in the days of their youth’—then that person can pray to God and find favor with him, they will see God’s face and shout for joy; he will restore them to full well-being. And they will go to others and say, ‘I have sinned, I have perverted what is right, but I did not get what I deserved. God has delivered me from going down to the pit, and I shall live to enjoy the light of life.’” Job 33:23-28

I can be a living, breathing mother of promise to show my son (and the rest of my people and others I encounter) how prayer changes everything. I can help them skirt the pit and get out of it when they stumble.

mother of promise son.png

Psalm 40 seems so fitting to the relationship I have with my son’s promise:

I waited patiently for the Lord and he turned to me and heard my cry. It was almost a year between my miscarriage and the news of Man Cub. 

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. I was lost and didn’t feel much like praying during that dark time, but I did it anyway.

I spent a lot of time in that pit questioning my marriage, my worth and my faith. But I know those prayers and looking for the promises are what got me out of that pit. The firm place to stand was my purpose – to love my husband and my first child and to hope for more to love. His mercy is true.

firm place

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Depending on the Lord for my light gave me strength and a heart turned toward gratitude and he gave me a great blessing in my son.

Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. That’s what I hope my children will see in me.

He was someone I asked for and when I go before that throne one day, I have to answer for what I did with that promise.

That’s why I want to be a mother of promise. I want to be a woman of my word.

My prayer with this post is that you are encouraged to walk in the light of Jesus and promise your children bring into your life.

Faith · Gifts · Marriage · Real Christianity · Woman of Promise

Becoming a Woman of Promise

woman of promise

Someone said something of a promise to me a few days ago – “If you keep bumping into a situation or hearing a phrase, it might be God talking to you.”

Amen.

Here are a couple of examples of how that works.

I walked into Sunday School (late!) a couple of weeks ago to a guest teacher speaking on Psalm 78. That’s a pretty tough piece of Scripture, but as with all tough Scripture, there’s hope. His message was “remember the promises.”

A guest preacher also gave us a night of encouragement a couple of weeks ago. He spoke about how we don’t understand the power of prayer. He was frank and honest about his inability to fully understand prayer. But that didn’t stop him from doing it. It didn’t stop him from tapping into its power.

There’s a reason we equate power with prayer. We don’t understand power, but we want it, especially the kind that’s provided by the Holy Spirit.

Here’s the chill-bump part; he spoke about praying the promises of God. He gave many examples of how people in the Bible – including Jesus – prayed the promises back to God.

That impacted me. I don’t understand it, but I know when we recognize the promises and have faith in them, we gain access to their power.

Becoming Means Owning An Identity

So, I thought long and hard about this message that’s been following me around – a woman of promise. I want to be one. I want to become a woman of promise. The path is simple – all I have to do is own that identity.

In the book of promise, we have the promise of love, the promise of protection, the promise of eternal life (that starts the moment you believe by the way) and the ultimate promise – hope.

When I can trust in these promises, I am a woman of promise. I am a woman who takes a look at this world and straightens the crown of glory (1 Peter 5:4) given to her by the King of Kings.

To own this identity, I have to trust the promises. It’s that simple. But no one said simple was easy. Simple takes intention. Simple takes slowing down and resting in the promises. Praying them. Savoring them. Believing them. Remembering them.

Remember the Promises

One of my tactics for getting my faith life back on track when it takes a back road to darkness is to trace the path of the promises God’s delivered to me as a result of prayer.

“Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD.” Lamentations 3:40

It’s breathtaking to see the threads of grace and promise move through my life, especially when life gets messy, circumstantial, hard or overwhelming.

It's breathtaking to see that thread of grace and promise move through my life, especially when life gets messy, circumstantial, hard and overwhelming

One of the key areas of promise for me is my people. I prayed big, bold prayers for every single one of them:

  • My hubby – He is the answer to a prayer for the man I needed, not the man I wanted.
  • My big girl – She is the promise of prayer for a purpose that was bigger than myself. She is also the helper I need to ground me.
  • My son – He is a promise of a prayer for deliverance from the devastation of losing a child to miscarriage. The light of his little heartbeat brought me back from some of my darkest days. He is also the gift of patience and perseverance. (I already have another post about him ready.)
  • My little one – She was a promise of a prayer for direction. I think it’s a bit funny that the direction came in the form of a baby just 16 months younger than her brother. She is also a gift of grace and delight.

These bold prayers were answered in the form of relationships I needed to steady me, to stretch me (yes, I’m speaking of Man Cub here) and to grow me.

Stand on the Promises

My favorite promise has been through a really rough patch lately. He’s been stressed, sullen and defeated. I can take a lot, but this puts me at my end.

We’ve both had a tough year. Death, business struggles, figuring out a hard patch with a child and long stretches of being apart have put us in the shadows much of this year. But these are the days of which promises stand true. And days for which remembering the promises brings us strength.

Praying the prayers of promise back to the Promised One brings us new hope, a new perspective, and a new provision for the valleys and shadows we must all walk through.

The Promise I Made Myself: To Live in the Light

Six years ago, I walked into a hospital to have a health-saving procedure. Two actually. I had to end a pregnancy. And I had to have my gallbladder removed.

The gallbladder was a given. But when I got my usual late summer cold, I knew something else was wrong. I couldn’t shake a bad cough. I felt incredibly nauseous. I knew I was pregnant.

But what I didn’t know was that I was about to walk a very lonely, very soul bearing road. I was about to be cracked into hundreds of tiny shards.

I had recently asked God to make one of his big promises to me come true. I asked him to take my husband and make him into His man. I asked Him to refine him and give him His purpose. We were so close to the end of everything financially and I was really broken. My strength was gone. My hope was fading. I wanted to give up.

Not on life, but the hard stuff. I was no stranger to hard stuff. Hard stuff is kind of my hallmark. When I open my mouth to share a story from my life, hard stuff just spills out. Very matter-of-factly. Hard stuff is what refines us.

But I was over it. I didn’t think I could take one more thing. And then this happens.

I had a molar pregnancy and the simple explanation is there’s a problem with fertilization. The baby doesn’t form right but instead of a miscarriage, all that should have been my baby turns into a tumor of sorts. It grows very rapidly and starts to invade your body. If it’s not removed, there’s a good chance of cancer.

There we were at the end of it all (or so it felt) and separated by a heavy shadow of grief, financial insecurity and depression. That’s when I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit my marriage, but instead I decided to quit being a woman who lived in darkness.

woman of promise light.png

I was tired of living in pain and projecting it on to my promise.

I also had a 3-year-old gift from the Lord who has the chance to grow up without darkness. I knew my influence would affect the woman she would become.

So, I began a journey. A long, hard journey that’s still in progress. A journey to find light to fill in my darkness.

I began with praying the promise of Philippians 2:1-5 over my marriage.

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:1-5

I’ve had to come back to that promise so many times. I think I get to a place of full trust and full promise and then circumstances and frustration seek to rob me of joy and progress.

But I know the redemptive promise of a changed attitude and perspective have been working on me. I know the process of walking out of the darkness and into wholeness is working. I know the more I trust the promises and the more I reflect on them and ask the Promise to fill me, the more my soul changes. The more I live in this identity of a woman of promise, the less I get knocked down.

I saw the fruit yesterday in a hard conversation I had with my favorite promise. I wanted so badly to go to my dark place, but we busted through the frustration and told each other what we needed to get through a hard week. We met each other in a mutual place of our portion of hardship. We strategized how we could circumvent the hardships and the conversation left me with a list of ways I could encourage hm and an affirmation I very much needed.

A woman of promise doesn’t back down when things get hard. She remembers the promises etched in her life. She stands on the hope that is in her.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.  – Hebrews 10:23 NLT

Faith · Family · Gifts · Real Christianity

What I Gained From Losing My Sister – A Series

john514I’ve held off on writing this post for a few weeks. Lots of little details got in the way of the times I sat down to tell you my dear readers about one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met – my sweet sister, Michelle.

I had to say goodbye to her on February 19th. She was just 31 and died very suddenly. It was a shock and a huge loss for everyone who ever spent even five minutes with her. But she’s walking in peace and light and love right now. She’s with Jesus and singing louder than anyone there.

If there’s anyone in this world who understood me, it was Michelle. I liked to call us the outliers. We don’t fit into the world’s molds for us. But if I really think about it, we’re more than outliers, we’re overcomers.

I heard that song, “Overcomer” by Mandisa recently, and it’s the song that described my sister. While I’ve been finding ways around the walls in my way my whole life, Michelle busted through them. She was disruptive and determined and dearly loved by all who knew her.

I was amazed at the people who came to her funeral. I was amazed at the impact she made on the world. I am thankful she listened to the voice calling her out of her struggles and into the light. I am thankful for the imprint she left on my life.

The words that spilled out of my lips when I got the news she didn’t make it, were “Not Michelle.”

But it was Michelle. And we all have a decision to make when we lose someone – celebrate or dwell. I choose to celebrate her. I choose to keep living a life that is better because she was part of it.

I choose to look at her life as just beginning – you know that eternal one. The one you’re living in right now if you just believe it and own it as the gift the Lord has given freely with His own sacrifice for you. We’re already in eternity. We’re just in orientation.

There’s so much to share on with you on what I gained from losing my sister that I’m going to turn this into a series. The series will include:

  • the lessons I’ve learned on prayer
  • the impact of following Christ in your life
  • overcoming adversity
  • how sharing our vulnerability heals us and connects us
  • the impact your life and your choices have on others
  • how drawing near to God heals us

So, without further adieu, here’s what I learned about prayer.

Prayer brings the power of the Kingdom.

One of the things I’m not incredibly proud of is what happened when we got the news she was unconscious and fighting for her life is that I didn’t stop to pray right then. I might have muttered something, but in that moment, I was consumed with getting others to pray for her and getting in touch with my gigantic family.

But I’m not going to feel guilty about my moment of weakness. I reached out to my fight club to pray for her. I got confirmation today that this is just as worthy in the Lord’s eyes.

I was listening to a podcast from Jill Briscoe (Telling the Truth) yesterday morning and she was speaking on worry. She said that sometimes we get to a place where we are not in a state to pray. We’re too worried. And God wants us to turn our worry into prayers. So, in essence, I did turn my worry into prayers through reaching out to others. You’ll see that my sister did this all the time and how it fits with the power of prayer.

The chaos of sharing the news that there is a problem with a person in such a big family is unreal. I don’t want to relive those moments again. But I know now that the first thing I should do is stop right now and pray.

That’s one of the most powerful weapons we Christians have in our arsenal. Stop right now and pray.

The beauty and power of this move is incredible. Praying before we speak, act, decide, start, after, in the midst of and over every situation makes it better. It may not change everything right then and there, but it brings God’s power into your midst. He promises his protection and provision whenever He is present. It brings you peace.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” — Psalms 46:1

When the presence of the Lord is with us, we are empowered and able to overcome.

Pray where you are weak.

Michelle was a prayer warrior. Her war was often with her own confidence and about unity among those she loved. She kept several prayer journals and her husband let me look at them. The pattern she prayed was inspiring.

“Draw me close, God. I want to know more of you. I want my family to unite and be protected and provided for. I want to be serious about this walk. I want to trust you.”

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1

Michelle turned her worry into prayers. She understood that she needed that to live under the protection of the Lord. She understood that there was rest in His shadow.

Prayers don’t die.

A real prayer warrior, a general in the Lord’s army (you know the person you want to be able to pray like when you grow up) told me something remarkable about prayer that I think I knew, but didn’t really know. 

She listened to me talk about my sister and I told her of the journals. She stopped me and said something like this:

“You know those prayers didn’t die with her. They are still before the throne of God.”

I was SO encouraged. It made me understand why we pray.

Prayer is a practice for today and every day.

God’s story is one of a different timing than ours. His power weaves people, situations and His purpose together. We only know a piece of the story.

We only know what we see; we must “have confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (That’s Hebrews 11:1 and if you need a boost of how faith works, go read that entire chapter.)

But when we open our eyes to the magnificence of God, we can understand on a small level that an act of obedience (faith) prayed out today may not be used until later, sometimes much later. Or it could be that same day.

I got away from my habit of writing my prayers in the aftermath of losing my sister. I did it a handful of times, but it’s not been a habit like it was prior to her death.

I sat down a couple days ago and poured my heart out before the Lord on the page. I sought His guidance and intervention and handling of some situations that were troubling me. I put my faith in this practice – asking boldly for what I needed that day.

Then, I asked God to work on the things that are out of my scope of work (intercession). I asked on behalf of others for what I saw as needs in the lives of those I love and even people I don’t know very well.

I followed the words of our Savior in Matthew 6 and 7 to ask for what I need today. Here’s a little context:

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:33-34

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-11. 

Sidenote: Michelle used Matthew 7:7-11 as her guidepost for her life. She believed with her whole heart that her husband was her “fish” given to her as a gift from God. She told everyone about seeing fish as a symbol of God’s direction in her life. She really grasped that calling from Jesus to be “fishers of men.”

Prayer is an act of connection and drawing others near to God.

Michelle was great at vulnerability in prayer. She asked for what she needed that day. Then she sought God’s intervention in the lives of others and situations that looked like there was no great outcome.

She worked on her problems in prayer. She was a worrier, but I could see from her prayer journals that she turned her worry into prayers.

She also always asked for prayers over herself when she had a big observation or test. Michelle got it. She got the tool that was prayer. She understood that seeking the Kingdom of God empowered her where she was weak.

I used to get a little amused at her Facebook requests for prayer over small things. Things that wouldn’t bother me because I’m pretty confident in my ability to test or present. But she really struggled in this area. She really struggled with insecurity when it came to work and presenting herself.

But she was right and I was wrong. We need to be bold in our need for prayer.

Prayer is the power God’s people have in the Kingdom. It invites His presence into our midst. She really understood that. I’m humbled and my eyes are open even more to the beauty and majesty of what He has done for us.

My prayer for you, my friends, is that you won’t neglect this incredible blessing – access to God, the Father, the Creator of your soul. He can help. All you have to do is ask. Please let me know how I can pray for you. I’d be honored. You can contact me here.

Faith · Family · Gifts · Motherhood

The Delight of a Slow Walker

My sweet Little One is a character. She is 19 months old and finally walking! All it took was a trip down the aisle to join our church recently. She was ready. We went and got her from the nursery. She saw the stage and off she went.

She’s bold and bright and loud and strong and sweet. And she’s taught me to slow down and watch the world through a child’s eyes.

anna cat hikingMy first-born tendency to hurry up and grow up gets frustrated with her lack of desire to progress at an advanced pace. But she’s teaching me something in her delight to be on a slower timetable than Mama wants.

She’s teaching me to look for the image of God each of my children reflects.

We aren’t all meant to be super ambitious, detail-oriented or driven and focused. I have one of three children who is all of the above, but he’s also whiny and wants to be held all the time.

My flighty first-born is off in the clouds and caught up in being an extravert. It drives me nuts. She bounces and leaps and does handstands and cartwheels and leaves a trail of clutter everywhere she dwells. I am an introvert and she sucks the life out of me some days. But she’s my right hand and so bright and shiny and messy and beautiful.

My son is obsessed with cleaning up “messy messes.” God bless this boy. I’m so excited to have a neat freak in my house. You have no idea. I am a messy girl who has reformed her ways and I’m so excited there’s someone who loves order more than me. Y’all, he even put his shoes away as soon as he walks in the door.

And then there’s my Little One. She’s just delightful. She’s not in a hurry to walk. But she talks and notices and keeps me smiling. This baby was the blessing I didn’t know I needed and as she slowly goes through the toddler stages, I’m just savoring my moments with her.

She loves to sit on the bed and “read” a board book. She points and chatters about what she sees. She makes animal noises. And then she closes the book with a little squeal and “de end.”

anna cat books

Little One loves to just sit and talk to me. And she wants my full attention. She even grabs my jaw to make sure I’m listening to her. It’s adorable to be telling her brother to not pour the dog’s food into “his” oven and have her grab my face to tell me that monkeys eat bananas.

We drive by Sonic and she tells me she needs to go get “my tots.”

She wakes up in the morning and tells me what she wants to eat (eggs, oatmeal, all the food!).

She sneaks off to investigate things like Sissy’s Barbie dream house or Man Cub’s dinosaur  (raurs) collection or the pile of rocks in the flower bed off the deck.

She likes to eat acorns (chocolate chips) and draw all over my Bible study questions with a No. 2 pencil (my favorite writing instrument).

Recently, I caught her on my bed unfolding an entire basket of clothes so she could get to a big sheet and carry it around. She loves the feel of sheets and pillows. Really anything made of 100 percent cotton. She steals her daddy’s button down shirts because their “my dess.” She started carrying these old 1960s dresses around when she was 11 months old.

Her not walking for so long has made me slow down and focus on who she is and not what she does. I’ve had to carry her in an Ergo for much longer than I anticipated, but her hair hasn’t grown in too fast and I’ve had extra months to snuggle that soft baby head.

I guess the moral of my story is that we have little people right in front of us and they teach us so much if we just sit back and watch. It bothered me when my baby didn’t walk at a year. But now, I’m thankful for the blessing that flows from a delightfully slow walker. She’s a perfect reminder that I’m not on my time, but His.